New beginnings
by judymulder
Summary: After the Black Fairy is defeated and Gideon is finally safe and de-aged back to a new-born baby, Rumplestiltskin makes the most difficult decision of his life. Rumbelle Secret Santa 2016. Gift for godofmichif. Beta-ed by the wonderful dreamer2381.


Belle was smiling. For the first time in a long time she felt…safe. She silently leaned on the door frame, basking in the lovely image of Rumple playing with his son with total adoration. Rumple had defeated the Black Fairy and saved her and Gideon from her clutches. Belle still woke up every night, drenched in cold sweat, after nightmares about those infernal days when she was a prisoner in a frigid dark room along with her baby shivering in her arms. The Black Fairy wanted to kill them both in front of Rumple's eyes. That evil woman, the incarnation of the devil itself, wanted to crush her son's heart, not in a literal way, but by obliterating the two flickers of light in Rumple's life. Belle could still feel the sensation of her bones breaking one by one, the indescribable pain radiating throughout her body while trying to keep her son safe from that woman's dark magic. At the end, Rumple prevailed and saved them both.

Weeks had passed since then. Things were as normal as they could be in Storybrooke. Rumplestiltskin and Belle's relationship progressed from estranged spouses to co-parents and friends. They were equals on the custody of their son. But that was it. Both of them knew their relationship as a couple was broken probably beyond repair. Re-starting a marital life was out of the question. For now, both of them were focused and content in raising Gideon. Belle moved back to her apartment above the library. While Rumple was still living in his salmon-colored house, he practically spent all his time in Belle's apartment with Gideon.

Still smiling, Belle left their son's room, knowing Rumple would put Gideon back into his crib and he would recite a lullaby until their son fell asleep. Belle went to the kitchen and started preparing some tea for her and Rumple.

"Hey" Rumple interrupted Belle's train of thoughts while she was pouring two cups of freshly brewed tea.

"Hey" she replied "Gideon was very entertained playing with you. I was afraid he wouldn't want to go to sleep that easily"

"He was indeed very happy playing with my tie. But the moment the clock turned eight, his eyes started closing by themselves. He fell asleep in my arms"

"And where is your tie now?" Belle lightly questioned, while getting some creamer and honey from the kitchen pantry to pour on her own tea.

"Let's just say my son is very stubborn and he didn't want to let the tie go even when it was time to go to sleep" Rumple chuckled proudly.

Belle laughed too, while handing a cup of black tea to Rumple. He took a sip and put the cup down again over the kitchen table, his expression turning serious.

"Belle…we need to talk"

Her smile disappeared in an instant. She could feel a sadness and a heavy burden in Rumple's tone.

"What's wrong?" she asked very much afraid of the answer. She just got her son back and something that resembled a normal life. She wasn't sure if she could take anything else that would jeopardize that normality.

"I…I am leaving Storybrooke" Rumple replied without looking at Belle. He was afraid that if he did, if he stared at those beautiful azure eyes, he wouldn't be able to say what he was saying right now.

Belle put down her own cup of tea and shortened the distance between them.

"What…what do you mean leave? Leave where?"

"I don't know. Any place outside of Storybrooke."

"I don't understand, Rumple…why would you want to go to a place without magic?"

"That's precisely the point, Belle. I once told you that magic had become a crutch without which I can't walk, but it is much more than that. I am addicted to magic and the power that comes along with it. Although I told myself that that's what I wanted, who I was, I look behind me and all I can see is that this addiction has cost me Bae's life and…your love. I can't allow this addiction to cost me Gideon as well. I love him so very much and I know my magic will end up hurting him in one way or another."

Rumple broke. He couldn't keep talking. Words choked on his throat because he thought he was destined to always fail as a father.

Belle wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that he never lost her love. She would never be able to stop loving him. Yet she couldn't say anything. Instead, she took one of Rumple's hands in her own.

"You can control your magic, Rumple. It does not have to control you. You don't have to leave. Listen, Gideon needs his father as much as he needs me"

Rumple's eyes filled with unshed tears and Belle knew that this was not a spur of the moment decision. This was something that he had been thinking since the moment Gideon reverted back to a baby and was safe.

"I need to be sure I can control the magic and not the other way around. The only way to be sure of that is to prove to myself that I can live without magic, to do something, to be someone, without it. Belle, there is nothing more I want than to be near my son…to raise him, but I need to be really worthy of that privilege."

"But you already are, Rumple. You saved him. You saved all of us." She was desperately trying to persuade him to stay.

"It's not enough. And you know that, Belle. Deep down you still don't fully trust me…and you shouldn't. I gave you plenty of reasons not to."

Belle wanted to argue, wanted to convince him that what they had at this moment was enough. What they had was enough for them to raise Gideon together, even if they were not a couple. Yet the words died in Belle's lips. Rumple was right too. There was still too much resentment, too much broken trust between them. And maybe…maybe this was a solution to fix that, in the long run.

"You've made up your mind, haven't you?" Belle asked after a long silence.

"Yes, I have" Rumple responded firmly although his own voice betrayed him. Although he seemed sure of his decision, the reality was that he was dying inside. His heart was breaking, knowing that this was the very last night he would put his son into his crib before sleeping, the last night he could admire his wife's beauty, and the last night he would feel something that resembled hope.

Rumple did not have any real plans once he left Storybrooke. When he arrived at Boston International Airport, he basically looked at the big board of outgoing flights, and based on a hunch, decided his destination: Scotland. He booked his plane ticket at the ticket kiosk and he soon found himself flying towards this much uncertain destiny. Despite the pain of being separated from his son, he knew this decision was the right one, especially when Belle did not ask him to stay. If she's asked he would've stayed, but she didn't, and he knew what that meant. He'd lost her forever. It was totally and utterly his fault, all because of his addiction to magic.

During the first few months of Rumple's absence, Belle prayed for his safety every night. She didn't realized it immediately but she soon figured out that he hadn't taken anything with him to the outside world. Every material possession he owned was now entirely and legally hers. He made sure of that before he left. The house, the shop, all the properties, they were all hers. Their shared bank account had the same amount of money in it from the last time she checked, and in the bank they informed her that Rumple removed his own name from their account. Later on, when she received a phone call from him, she questioned these actions. Rumple explained that getting away from the magic also included renouncing to everything that was a direct product of it. All his belongings in Storybrooke were not truly earned. They were provided by a curse. It was time to prove to himself that he could survive without any magical shortcut. At the beginning, Belle begged him to accept some cash so he could live in good conditions for a few months. He refused and hid the fact of his real condition. The only money he took from Storybrooke was barely enough to get an airplane ticket and pay for a bed for a few nights. Ignoring the cruel reality of living in a merciless world without a cent in your pockets, Belle naively thought Rumple was relatively ok. Rumple's call every day masked even more what was truly happening.

Their phone calls were short and friendly. Their conversation was limited to asking each other if they were ok, but the overarching topic was always their son. Belle always had something new to tell Rumple about Gideon. Every day spent with the baby brought a new surprise. She never told Rumple, but she wished every day that he would be there to share those little wonders of raising a son each day. Every smile, every new gesture, made Belle's heart swelled with love for her son.

A few weeks after Rumple arrived in Scotland, he went to live to a city called Glasgow. Belle started to feel more and more uneasy with each passing day. Rumple stopped calling her daily. He excused himself saying that he was very busy trying to find a job, but that was the farthest from the truth. After Rumple ran out of money, he found himself in the most desperate situation a human being can find themselves in. He did not have a job, he did not have any money to buy food, and he did not have a roof over his head. He started to wander from shelter to shelter. His own pride wavered several times tempting him to ask Belle for help or to beg for money on the streets. Somehow he avoided falling that low, although the alternative was not much better. He ended up selling stuff that people considered garbage, and eating the same. Sometimes the shelter provided a cup of hot soup but those were rare occasions. The few coins he could get were used exclusively to call Belle and hear his son's voice. The only reason that kept him from jumping off of a bridge and ending his miserable existence was his love for his son…and his love for Belle. The same love that prevented his heart from going completely black and letting the Dark One have complete control over him, was the same love that now kept him alive.

In the fourth month of this tortuous life, things changed. Destiny put Rumple at the precise place and time that would turn his life around. In the homeless shelter, while on the line to get some food, he overheard a discussion between three people. One was the shelter manager, and the other two were lawyers discussing something about the ownership of the building where the shelter resided.

"Isn't ironic when someone wants to take everything from those who have nothing?. Of course if those who have nothing would have a competent lawyer representing them, who actually knew that Real Property includes the land, as well as anything that is fixed to the land, then… you wouldn't even be having this conversation right now." Rumple never intended to mutter his snarky remark out loud for those morons to hear him, but they did. Including, of course, the lawyer that Rumple practically called stupid.

"Real Property Law…clever. You just maybe gave me the loophole I needed to prevent this place from being brought down to its grounds" The offended lawyer said intriguingly while walking towards Rumple.

"There is nothing clever about it, dearie. It's basic property law. Did you even go to law school?" Rumple responded snidely. He had no idea why he was lashing out to a guy who probably had the authority to kick him out of the shelter at that precise moment, before he could even have a chance of getting his first hot meal in weeks.

Surprisingly enough, the lawyer seemed more curious than offended, although this was technically the second time Rumple questioned his intelligence in less than three minutes.

"And since when does a homeless man knows so much about law?" The lawyer asked

"Looks can be deceiving" Rumple replied, uninterested in continuing this tête-à-tête.

"And you are such a delightful person, aren't you?" the lawyer continued and Rumple looked at him, almost menacingly "Well, despite your charming attitude I think you just cracked a case for me, so the least I can do is buy you a better meal then just the cup of soup you are about to get"

"I do not need your charity" Rumple gritted his teeth. He was confused and nervous about this man's attitude. All his previous experiences with people screamed at him that this person only wanted to mock him, to humiliate him. However, there was something about him that made Rumple doubt his own intuition.

"That's arguable" the lawyer contradicted "But this is not an act of charity. Consider this an act of….professional curiosity. If you are a lawyer, which I am sure you are, I would enjoy a more in-depth conversation with you."

Rumple sighed. What was the harm in it? At least he would get a decent plate of food and maybe even being able to save some leftovers. Rumple finally accepted the lawyer's offer. No more than five minutes passed after they started taking over dinner, when Rumple had a job offer in the very small firm where that lawyer worked. No more than two months passed after he started working when Rumple transitioned from "assistant" to a full-time lawyer. No more than six months passed when that small firm became the number one sought-after Property Law firm of Glasgow. Rumple was an exceptional lawyer. Every case he took, he won. He was a shark swimming again in his natural environment, minus magic.

A thing that changed since he accepted the job and was able to afford phone bills, and a place to live, was the duration of his calls to Belle. It was easier to talk to your family when you weren't constantly thinking of ending your life….and you weren't literally starving to death. Belle was so proud of Rumple. She could spend hours over the phone just listening about every detail of Rumple's cases, about the loopholes he was so skilled in finding and that, at the end, always made him win. Although his lawyer degree was technically granted by the Dark curse, the knowledge, the skills, were cultivated by him. His innate superior intelligence was his. Magic had nothing to do with his current success. He was a brilliant lawyer, and it was the first time in his life that Rumplestiltskin believed he could do important things without the help of magic.

Belle was more personally opened to Rumple as well. She started to talk to him about her own life, instead of just deviating their conversation exclusively to Gideon. Now that Rumple had access to cell phones, computers, internet, he could also see his family every day. Every time Gideon saw Rumple on the computer or phone screen, he stopped anything else that he was doing and put all of his attention on the image and the voice of his father. Belle always joked about him being better than "Baby Einstein" for their son. Although distance was always painful and hard, this was the closest to happiness both Belle and Rumple have had since their son's conception.

It was close to twelve months since Rumple had left Storybrooke. After an incredibly long day at work, Rumple arrived to his West End apartment in Glasgow. He was truly exhausted, but the exhaustion was worth it. He was informed of the judge's decision on the most important case of his career. He had won. The profit and the buzz from that single case was great enough to put their firm in the top five best lawyer firms in the entire country. Rumple knew he would be receiving countless job offers from different places, and not only in Scotland. He could go anywhere he wanted. He could do anything he wanted. Yet despite that, the thing he wanted the most was still thousands of miles away from his reach. Rumple removed his tie, suit jacket and shoes, the moment he entered his apartment. Before he could decide between calling Belle right then or take a much needed shower first, the decision was made for him because his phone started ringing. He took the phone from his discarded suit jacket and let himself fall in the black leather sofa before answering the call.

"Hey"

"Hey. Are you out of the Court House? How did everything go?"

"I won the case, Belle." He proudly replied.

"What? The Galbraith-Doyle case? Oh my god Rumple!. I am so, so happy for you!" Belle couldn't contain her own emotion at hearing those wonderful news. This was a case that had Rumple working almost 24/7 for the past months. Belle knew what kind of huge milestone this was.

"I am quite content as well…but just exhausted. It has been such as long day"

"I can imagine, but I am so proud of you Rumple"

"Thank you, Belle. How's our son?"

"He's right here with me. He's a little fussy because he is very tired. We also had quite a draining day" Rumple could now hear his son's sounds of protest to whatever Belle was doing.

"And why is that? What you two were up to?" Rumple asked intrigued

"Just….moving around lot" Belle replied evasively

Rumple was about to ask more questions, when his doorbell rang.

"Oh, you have to be kidding me" Rumple exclaimed without any intentions of opening the door or even leaving the couch anytime soon

"What it is?" Belle questioned

"Someone thought it was a smart idea to knock at my door at 9:00pm" Rumple said, ignoring the door.

"I'm definitely curious who would be brave enough to anger a very dangerous beast?" Belle asked playfully.

"I have no idea and I have no intention of figuring it out. Nothing will move me from this couch. I can promise you that"

The doorbell rang again. And again.

"It sounds like your mysterious annoying person will not go away until you open that door"

It rang once more.

"It is a very good thing I do not have magic right now or that unfortunate soul would know what it feels to be transformed into something rather unpleasant" Rumple teased jokingly.

It rang again.

"Oh, then I am very happy you do not have magic" Belle giggled over the phone and that made Rumple chuckled too. It rang again. "It might be important Rumple, why you just don't open the door?"

Rumple groaned annoyed and defeated and left his much comfortable spot on sofa, just to get rid of whatever pest was out there.

"It seems I have no choice. Give me a minute Belle" He said finally walking towards the door.

Without even looking through the peephole, Rumple opened the door with a handful of very unpleasant words ready at the tip of his tongue dedicated to whomever was disturbing his peace. Those words instantly vanished and the world stopped rotating, the moment he saw who was at the other side of his door.

"Hello, Rumple" Belle said with such a beautiful smile. She was standing there, divine like an angel, with a half awake Gideon fidgeting in her arms.

Rumple was not able to articulate a single word for what it seemed an eternity and Belle was about to speak again, maybe to say something funny that would snap out Rumple from total shock, but before she could utter a syllable, Rumple embraced her and Gideon like his life depended on it.

"Oh, Belle" he said while inhaling the perfume of her hair. Then, a moment later, Gideon spoke too.

"Daddy"

It was the first time Rumple heard that word from his son and he believed he was dreaming. All of this had to be a dream. The most beautiful dream of all. He stared at his son with absolute wonder and love.

"He started to say "daddy" yesterday after we spoke over the phone. Then I decided you had to hear it in person" Belle explained, this time with unshed tears in her eyes.

Rumple extended his arms towards little Gideon and Belle immediately let him take the baby into his embrace.

"Yes, Gideon, yes, your daddy is here. I love you, my son" Rumple couldn't hold back the tears anymore while kissing his son a million times. It was so long since the last time he held him in his arms.

When he recovered the ability to think clearly again, Rumple entered his apartment again with Gideon in his arms and Belle closed the door behind them.

"Belle, I can't tell you how much this means to me. What it means to have you and Gideon here with me"

"I think I know Rumple, because I feel the same way"

They both look at each other intensely, with so many things to say and no idea on how to start. They just stayed in silence until it was awkward enough for Rumple to speak again.

"Please, feel at home Belle" he said, signaling the couch so she could sit. "You must be very tired of traveling for so many hours with this wee lad"

"I am, actually. But your son's behavior has been irreproachable. He did not cry even once. He just started being a little fussy in the past half hour because he is very tired"

Rumple corroborated Belle's words when he felt Gideon cuddling on his chest ready to go to sleep.

"I will put Gideon on my bed for now, Belle. I have several pillows and cushions that we can place around him. We can make better arrangements for him tomorrow"

"That sounds good, Rumple. Can I make you some tea while you tuck him in?" She asked, wanting to give Rumple all the time with his son as he could possibly get that night.

"Of course. Thank you, Belle" Rumple smiled and went to his bedroom to prepare an improvised bed for Gideon.

After several minutes, Rumple reappeared on his leaving room where Belle was waiting with two cups of hot tea. Belle looked at him intensely. God, he was as handsome as ever, if not more, she thought. He was still dressed with his formal pants and his shirt was opened three buttons from the top, revealing a generous portion of his chest. His sleeves were rolled up at the height of his elbows. He looked healthy, relax and happy.

"You have a beautiful apartment. It is so….you" Belle said in an attempt to deflect her own thoughts.

"Thanks. It is small but I like it here. It's enough for me" Rumple sat down besides Belle and picked up his cup from the tea tray. He wanted to ask a question, or several, but he was afraid of the answers

"How…how long will you stay?" His question was blunt enough to take Belle by surprise and she hesitated in giving him an answer. "It is ok, Belle. I understand you want to go back to Storybrooke sooner rather than later" Rumple tried to hide his sudden sadness. He did not want to waste these precious moments he had with his family by being sad, but he couldn't even imagine how painful would be saying goodbye to his son for a second time…and to the woman he still loved so very much.

"I am not planning to go back…if you do not want me to" she finally said and Rumple looked at her with sparks of hope in his eyes.

"Belle, what are you saying?" he managed to ask

"That I came here expecting to be with my husband and the father of my child forever"

Belle barely had time to finish that sentence when Rumple's lips were on hers seeking desperately an answer to all of his questions and insecurities. And he found his answer: True Love was abiding between them. And this was a new beginning for them.


End file.
